Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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