Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
