she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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