Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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