He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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