i already hear my dad disowning me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
