I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
