don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
