I must be too annoying 4 u.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
