I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize