I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
