Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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