when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
