Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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