She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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