We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
