My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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