Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
