the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
