Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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