Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
