ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Randomize
