she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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