Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
