Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize