I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
