69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
