we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
