she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
