The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
