OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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