I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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