my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
