My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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