On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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