so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
