I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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