I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize