she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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