I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
