and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
