U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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