Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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