as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize