Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
