The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
