I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
