Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
