found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
