i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
