Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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