And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
