I accidentally burped into my bong.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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