I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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