bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This is the high leading the old right now
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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