I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
