My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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