I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
