i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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