Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
