She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My bed smells like the plague
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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