She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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