you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
