Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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