so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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