to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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