3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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