i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
