yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm passing your future prison.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
