Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
