i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
