You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
