I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
