You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
