I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
